Self-improvement interference
The problem: “My husband tells me he likes me chubby and sabotages my diet whenever he can by taking me out to dinner or giving me chocolates.”

The solution: Many couples are suspicious when one partner embarks on a “home improvement” mission. (If your guy suddenly started hitting the gym every day, you may wonder why as well.) Your husband may be fearful of why you want to change your appearance and may be afraid that you’ll no longer find him attractive as you improve your shape. Your new and improved eating style may also make him more self-conscious of the pizza and beer he’s downing every Friday night. Offer reassurance that you love him, that your attention to diet details has nothing to do with your relationship, and that your quest for better health can benefit the both of you.

The couch-potato predicament
The problem: “I can’t seem to motivate my husband to do anything healthy!”

The solution: Are you really trying to motivate him, or are you coming across as a nag? In many cases, it may be better to remove yourself from the role of diet or fitness coach and get him some professional help. Hire a personal trainer for him, or get him a fitness gadget like a heart rate monitor or a new piece of exercise equipment. Men tend to be motivated by challenge (as opposed to the bathroom scale, clothing sizes, or physical appearance), so set a diet and exercise plan for him that is more performance-based—like aiming to run a 5K or slim down for ski season.

The anti-diet dilemma
The problem: “Since I’ve gotten married, I’ve gained 10 pounds in two years. At this rate, I’ll be obese by 2010!”

The solution: Research shows that both men and women tend to gain weight once they are married, but women gain more—and generally in the first two years. It’s generally a psychological issue, as we feel we are settled and no longer have to work too hard on appearance. But even though your spouse may not be going anywhere, weight gain is still unhealthy. Couples should work to maintain the weight they were when they married; this often means setting nutritional ground rules, such as eating out no more than once a week, not allowing junk food at home, and making vacations activity-oriented rather than sedentary.

If you feel like you’re fighting an uphill battle, take heart: While marriage can make some people slothful and apathetic about their weight, it can also be a great opportunity for better health. Sticking with a diet or exercise plan is easier when you’ve got a committed partner—and if you’re both motivated, there’s no better way to improve yourselves and your relationship than by working toward a common goal and becoming a healthier, happier couple. Start by setting a good example; you may be surprised by what you’re both capable of.